The weekend actually feels like it was long. It was rainy and dreary the whole time and the boys are now used to playing outside all day so we did have a few moments of THIS HOUSE IS NOT BIG ENOUGH but we did o.k. Saturday afternoon we spent at a family gathering at a local pool hall. Ernie’s older brother had arranged for it and it was really fun. We’ve been lousy at getting together with people so it was nice to see everyone. What struck me (apart from the classic rock—we’re talking Aerosmith, REO, John Mellencamp and I think I even heard J. Geils) was how much we repeat patterns. When I was a kid the family across the street (that also had three girls) would periodically play softball in their front yard. Every time I would either go home or sit on the side. Never ONCE did I participate. I think about it now and I wonder why. I couldn’t have been worse than every other little girl in the neighborhood…. I see the same pattern in Leo. I’ve learned so much about myself since I’ve had Leo. He’s afraid to do things that he’s not good at. Those are the words the child psychologist said when we had given up on pottytraining him and gone to see her. I realize that’s how I am too. It’s so useless and foolish. But as I sat there not wanting to play pool with a bunch of people that weren’t necessarily any better than me I realized I was doing it again. I did play one game—and lost—but had a good time. Hopefully my brother-in-law will make this an annual event and next year I’ll play more than one game….

Had a nice time at church with my father today. He’s so pleased to have me there that I have to go. Not sure I like the priest or the sermons and I still don’t remember all the things I’m supposed to be reciting but it is comforting. Man, is the some of the music bad though—I’ve taken to looking at the dates at the bottom of each song in the hymnal and I swear some of the worst ones are copyright 1987…..