Man, I was tired last night. I’m not even sure why I was so exhausted but I was…..and all I wanted was for my children to go away. Just go away. I didn’t want a babysitter to come so we could go away…..I just wanted my children to go away. I don’t think they were being particularly difficult, we just both had no patience last night. So then of course later I feel guilty.
My mother loses patience with my father—understandably—and says that sometimes she ends up yelling at him and then she hates herself. It just broke my heart when she told me that. I think sometimes she feels that they will be o.k. as long as she just tells my father what to do and when to do it. But of course he doesn’t process things the way he used to. I worry about their dinners but I do what I can to make them easy and unfortunately my mother is deadset against Meals on Wheels. My sister gave me a book about dealing with Alzheimer’s and I just haven’t been able to make myself read it. I’m not in denial but I think I don’t want to look toward the future—-at least not down that road anyway.
Gosh…I meant to just write about the boys…on a different note…..why the heck isn’t Jimmy Wald playing at the Vertebrats reunion????