1. Because every SINGLE time I wheel her through the hospital lobby at Carle and she sees the sign that says "rated on of top 100 cardiology centers" or something like that she snorts and talks about how when they went to Naperville they saw a cardiologist TWICE a year instead of once a year. I don’t know why…but this makes me utterly insane.
2. Because no matter how many times….like 100….that I have said to her that it would be good to get another homecare person in before we go to Maine…she ignores me. When I said that to her today she said, "oh, I never thought of that" and said well she just figured she’d tell the wound clinic she couldn’t go that week. When asked about grocery shopping she did admit that twelve days is a long time, perhaps they would need groceries. She said she’ll think about it. grrrrr.
3. Because she fell yesterday in the bathroom and laid there for an hour and a half before managing to drag herself into another room and stand up. My father didn’t miss her although he couldn’t have really helped…but he could have called ME. Then she tested her blood and it was 44. (O.K., O.K., this one doesn’t make me crazy…just a little sick to my stomach).
4. Because when she told me she’d been reading the books on Alzheimer’s and they talked about the fact that using utensils to eat could become a challenge for the Alzheimer’s patient and suggested finger foods and sandwiches she cheerfully said, "I figure when he gets to that point I’ll just have you make a lot of sandwiches and we’ll eat them all week."
5. Because I need to leave in about an hour and take her to the wound clinic and as much as I have a crush on her doctor, it just takes a hell of a lot of time.
6. Because I love her. And there just isn’t any light at the end of this tunnel.