Interesting post about commenting on blogs over at BlogRhet. I am not a big commenter unless I somehow know the person or have some kind of connection….otherwise I tend to just quietly lurk. The silly thing is that when I consider how much I adore comments you’d think I’d assume other feel the same. However if it’s a blog that seems to have a big following I think I feel just as I do at a party—-I like listening but the larger the group the quieter I get. I don’t do well at parties (although I love giving them….hmmmm…..what’s that about?).
So I don’t expect everyone to comment but let me tell you how I appreciate it when you do. The kind words you give me truly help me. They encourage me, they buoy me and when they’re too kind they make me cry. I have not been able to put my finger on what I find so satisfying about this blog. There is something about translating my life for you that helps me put things into perspective and deal more easily with the difficulties and expands my joy in the good things. I have never been able to keep a journal more than an entry or two—-it’s as though I need to present it for someone else’s eyes. The only comparable writing/journaling I have ever done was when my dearest friend Eileen went to South Africa for a semester in high school. I think I wrote her almost every day….all the ups and downs of high school chronicled for her. Thank God she’s not a saver…..I don’t know that I’d want to see those today! She wrote back once I thinks….but it really wasn’t about that.
It’s such a funny thing, this little blog world. Yesterday I had a comment from someone I haven’t seen in, well–just to be polite—let’s just say MANY a year. Those reconnections—many because of people googling the Vertebrats—have been really satisfying. I’m notoriously lousy at staying in touch with people and so at this funny point in my life it feels so good to have this touchstone, this sense of continuity, this sense of ‘I am still who I was then.’ Neither Ernie or I have large extended families—or at least are in touch with them—and I realize more and more the strength and comfort of them. I guess Ernie and I have always floated along our own way finding our own community of those with similar interests. Now we’re at this point in our life that despite our outside interests, we are focused inward—on my parents, on our children, on creating as good a day to day life as we can. So all of a sudden I’m aware of the comforts of other communities. Although it was very difficult for me to begin taking my father to church every week, now–despite still groaning about it every Sunday morning–I enjoy it and have actually realized the sense of community it gives. My mother is not Catholic, although my father is-and we were raised Catholic. However I don’t think as a child we ever participated enough in the Church to have that sense of community—at least not when I was young. Sometimes my sisters and I have different memories because of age differences. All my father’s neurosurgeries started when I was in hmmm, second or third grade, so I have different childhood memories than they do sometimes.
Anyway, enough rambling….and I do tend to ramble….I’ll never have one of those blogs with the beautifully written, thoughtful posts! I just blurt out where I am and rarely have the patience to go back and edit. So bear with me……and know how much I appreciate the community of my little blog. Whether I know you or not, no matter how you found me, whether you comment or not—-thank you all for listening and commenting and being part of this.