Living in the Dreamworld….and a snake

This has not been the easiest of weekends.  It hasn’t been all bad of course….there have been some wonderful moments sitting outside, watching the guys catch fireflies and admiring my garden despite the Japanese Beetles.  Friday morning I decided to work at home…probably not the best idea in hindsight.  I spoke to my sister and she arranged for a visit on Monday to the assisted care facility my parents are theoretically considering.  The one that only has three available units left thank you very much.  So I then called my mother.  She immediately felt pressured and stressed out.  Long somewhat unsatisfying conversation.  Tears.  I called her back later that afternoon and asked them to come over Saturday afternoon—just to sit in the yard and watch the boys in the pool.  More tears and stress.  I think she thinks Judi and I are going to sign them up and move them in and they won’t know what hit them.  HA! If only.  Dad of course is adamantly set against it.  Mom says they just aren’t ready yet.

Anyway…..so Saturday morning I worked to make up for the Friday morning which was unproductive.  Ernie went over to their house to pick them up early afternoon.  I was up here on the computer when I saw them pull into the driveway. So I trotted downstairs yelling to the boys that grandma and grandpa were here and to get some damn clothes on.  I went into the kitchen and started down the stairs to the back door so open it for them……and there was a goddamn fucking snake slithering all over the landing by the back door.

A SNAKE IN MY FUCKING HOUSE

So I leaped back to the kitchen and began to scream.  Now I’m not particularly proud of totally losing control….but hey…that’s just what happens to me around snakes.  I could see the snake slithering up against the back door and I could see outside my mother getting ready to get out of the passenger seat and Ernie standing there helping her and they were both just staring blankly at the house.  Evidently I let out a burst of short staccato high pitched screams.  They were staring blankly because reportedly I sounded like Judi’s dog Wally and they were wondering how she could be there a day early.  Yes….they thought I was a dog…..

Ernie eventually figured out what was going on and opened the door and let the snake out and asked for his work gloves so he could relocate the snake.  Owen came into the kitchen with them and I begged him to take the gloves to Daddy because there was no way on earth I was going to do it.  He nervously agreed and then came back into the kitchen and solemnly asked me if I needed a glass of wine.  I assured him I didn’t which I proved by bursting into tears. I think the damn thing slithered beneath the screen door.  The wooden threshold is worn down in a spot and  so you can see light coming through there  even after Ernie put a new  base thingy on the door after the last incident.  So everyone last time tried to convince me that it came in the basement and the cat brought it up but I think I was RIGHT and it just slithered in the back door.  So the back door is now permanently shut, not just the screen door anymore.  I am refusing to go in and out of the back door until adjustments have been made.

So anyway….after pouring myself a HEALTHY glass of wine we repaired to the table and chairs that we have moved next to the pool.  We sat and chatted, drank some wine (my Dad guzzled milk) and had some chips and salsa.  The boys sat with us and then put their swim trunks and dived in the pool.  They splashed and yelled and chased each other—-all seemingly without being aware that we all sat watching them.  It was lovely. 

Dad started to fuss about going.  I knew he was a bit confused but didn’t think that much of it.  Ernie got up and said he was going to run to the bathroom before getting the car and backing it down to where we were.  Dad got up and said he was going to the car.  Now this is the man that moves about one inch an hour….however I guess he REALLY wanted to get to the car so by the time Ernie got out of the house and over to the car……there was my father sitting in the driver’s seat trying to find his nonexistent car key.  Ernie tried to explain that he was driving etc. but gave up and came and got me.  It took a very, very, very long time.  He kept saying, "what do you mean I can’t drive?  I drove us all the way down here, didn’t  I?"  I’ll spare you all the painful conversation but I finally convinced him to get up and get in the back seat.  As I led him around the back of the car he muttered to himself, "it’s like living in a dreamworld."

That was the phrase that coming to me in the night as I would wake up between snake filled dreams.  It’s like living in a dreamworld.

My sister should arrive tonight.  We’ll go to the assisted living place my parents are dead set against.  We were supposed to visit some other nursing homes but I have a feeling that isn’t going to happen as she has a lot of other things she wants to do before she leaves on Tuesday afternoon.  Then on Tuesday my mother has a four hour stress test and I won’t even go into the complications about that.  Today at church a man came up to me and told me what good care I took of my father.  I told him my father had always taken care of me.  He told me that when I get old someone will take care of me.  It was very kind of him but frankly I want someone to take care of me right now.