I haven’t posted for a few days, not because of summer fun, but because I have been incoherent with stress and exhaustion.  Yesterday afternoon Ernie turned on the air conditioning (I get cranky in the heat) and sent me to take a nap.  It helped.

My parents have decided/agreed to move into an assisted living facility.  Shall I say it again?  O.K.  My parent’s have decided/agreed to move into an assisted living facility. 

I should be thrilled, right?  And I am….I guess.  I mean it’s a huge relief on certain levels.  I think seeing them have to make that decision however was more emotionally wearing on me than I expected.  I’m also a bit overwhelmed with the need to get them moved in there and then empty and sell their house….and find a home for their cats (don’t worry—I’ll have a post up soon about two sister cats who need a home) and of course this has to be squeezed in between working and our trip to Maine.  I could get them in before we went to Maine probably but then what do I do with six cats (our three and their three)?  I can’t leave six battling cats alone for almost two weeks.  On the other hand I don’t have that much time off after Maine before I start working again.  We’ll see.  It will all work out I know and my sister Debbie has said she can come and help with the house when we get to that point.

We went to the facility for a tour on Monday with my mother dead set against it…in fact she wasn’t even going to have my father come for the tour.  We ended up all going however—my folks, my sister Judi and me (Ernie stayed home with the guys).  While we were waiting for the administrator, Judi wheeled my mother over to the menu for the dining room and read off some of it to her.  My mother just sighed and said, "imagine, twenty-one meals a week" and I could hear in her voice what a battle meals are and what a relief that would be. It doesn’t matter how many meals I bring over or how many Meals On Wheels they get…it’s still a battle. So they showed us around and of course the place is brand new so everything is clean and bright and well decorated.  They talked about activities and my mother just said, "we don’t HAVE to do those, do we" and they assured her they didn’t (I am my mother’s daughter, you know).  The apartment is small, a living area with a kitchenette, a bedroom and a bathroom with a walk in/sit down shower which elicited more sighs from my mother.  My father looked kind of grim throughout but held his own when we sat down with somebody after the tour until he started talking about WWII.

Judi and I took them home, talked awhile and left.  My mother called later that day and said they were going to do it.

They are going to do it.

Tuesday we all had lunch and started the process of making phone calls, dropping off paperwork etc.  I am relieved and happy but I guess I’m also sad.  Sounds silly, doesn’t it? I should be jumping with joy.  I guess despite knowing that they weren’t up to living alone in their house it still makes me sad when they are forced to admit it.

I took the boys over to the place and we looked at the apartment my folks would have.  The boys were somewhat enthusiastic but do say sadly they will miss the old house.  Leo is hoping they will take their antique trunk they use for a coffee table as it’s perfect for Lincoln Logs.

Taking Monday and Tuesday off has made me behind on work.  I planned to work yesterday for awhile but it didn’t happen.  I will muddle through with some extra hours over the weekend and next week I guess.  Let’s just say I’m looking forward to Maine more than ever. 

So tell me congratulations or something…..

5 thoughts on “You May Want to Sit Down….

  1. John is going through the same thing with his parents. But you are to be congratulated…they said “yes”! John’s mom is digging in her heels, she has “too many memories” in the house, “I don’t need to leave my house yet…” She had her knee replaced in Feb. and is just getting back with it. His father is ready to move tomorrow. So sad and frustrating….

  2. It’s natural to feel relief and sadness at the same time. You just have to remember that it’s a good thing for everyone, and that while it’s an end to one chapter, that things will improve because of it. While I don’t know your folks, I felt glad that your mom made this giant step. It’s scary for her, I’m sure, and she probably feels that she will bear the day-to-day burden of getting your dad used to a new environment. It’s a good thing, though, very good.

  3. It’s going to be bittersweet, so just focus on all of the positive aspects. The natural interaction that your parents will have with other people will be so good for them. Their nutrition will be improved. Fewer places to lose things in. Fewer things to lose…