Yesterday was a hard day. It was a hard day for Judi and I must admit it was a hard day for me too. I think it’s all starting to sink in and become real. Judi met with one of her classes to tell them what was going on and had to sign paperwork for medical leave—-it was pretty tough on her and then to top things off she doesn’t get cell phone reception in that building I guess so she missed the doctor’s call. He left a vague message about abnormal cells and the biopsy…. She will talk to him today and get more information….but all in all not a good day.
Frankly I feel dazed and overwhelmed. Work is crazy….if I don’t solve a problem today I’m going to have dozens of stranded Japanese artists stranded in Chicago…. On the way home from work last night I was running everything over in my mind….Judi and my parents…trying to figure out their doctor appointments and how to take over all the bills for my mom and at one point I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My throat just seemed closed. It was rather disconcerting. I tried Lamaze breathing which I sometimes do when I am feeling totally stressed out and got past it. I got the most beautiful note this morning from my dear friend Sarah and she said I seemed to be handling things with grace and it’s so funny to hear that because I have never felt less graceful in my life. I feel like I am lurching clumsily.