1. Feeling particularly random today. Judi sees her oncologist today which perhaps is why I’m feeling so antsy. Don’t know why really…..it will be good to have a better sense of when she’ll start treatment and what it may involve.
2. Parent teacher conferences this afternoon. It will be interesting to hear what they have to say….particularly my wild card, Owen. If I may brag, yesterday when Ernie was walking the guys into Chess Club, the music teacher and librarian saw him and said in unison, "oh, we love your kids" and told him we should have more. Not an option but an awfully nice compliment.
3. A rousing episode of Storm Chasers last night. The boys were up too late (well, Owen drifted off halfway through of course) but Leo was so excited to watch it that I couldn’t resist. It’s good for him to be interested in something other than trains once in awhile.
4. Not a very good fall for color this year….I guess that’s what a hot October will get you.
5. Sorry I’ve been so dull of late. I haven’t been able to sleep lately which doesn’t help. Last night when Ernie got into bed I complained to him that while I love sleep, it doesn’t love me back. I fall asleep but every night about 2:00 or 3:00 I wake up and lay there wide awake, tossing and turning. Sometimes I start to feel the lazy, dream like thoughts drifting in and then I always make the mistake of thinking, "oh good—I’m falling asleep" which of course just wakes me right back up. I’m not consciously worrying about things…just running over the upcoming days in my head. I used to have horrible problems sleeping but back when Ernie had cancer, my parents started to fail and life in general seemed to be falling apart. I went on antidepressants and that took care of it. No more though. Am I depressed again? Well, I don’t know. I think I’m doing pretty well considering everything. When I went off my antidepressants this summer I didn’t sleep as well but then my parents got kicked out of assisted living and I realized, "what the hell are you thinking?" and went back on them. Of course my HMO has deemed what I’m taking to be a different tier so if I don’t want to pay a fortune I’ll have to change anyway. Eh, who knows.
6. Had a long complicated dream about rearranging our media room. Cleaning it, sorting toys, rearranging furniture and when it was all over it wasn’t our media room at all…..it was the family room of the house I grew up in. huh.