I’m thinking.  Thinking.

Hard day at work.  I missed Friday morning because I was ill, I left early today to meet with Owen’s principal and I’m taking a day and a half off this week to see my sister……you know the sister with CANCER that lives across the country for God’s sake? 

There is just not enough of me to make everybody happy I guess.  That makes me sad.

But anyway….

Good meeting with Owen’s principal today. I bet you didn’t think I was going to say that, did you?  It was however.  I feel like she really heard us and I feel much more hopeful.  She did make the point that posting everything here on my blog can set up….oh I can’t remember the phrase she used, but just that it made it hard to feel like we were part of a team.  And that’s a valid point.  I don’t think I cared so much when I posted before because I was feeling a lack of any kind of team approach.  However I do feel more like that after this meeting so I am going to take a more selective approach to commenting on school issues with the boys.  I won’t stop completely mind you—because this is about my life and God help me but those guys are my life’s focus right now…..but if someone’s willing to work with me I am more than willing to work with them….. 

I had already considered taking down the post and comments about Owen’s work because I thought some of it could be upsetting if he were to read it. Contrary to what it probably appears, I do think about what I post and what I don’t.  Certainly some of what I write might not be appropriate for the boys to read right now but you know what….if they did read it I would be o.k…..I might have to explain some of it but I would stand behind it, that it’s honest, it’s how I felt and sometimes I use Daddy’s bad words….and they should be able to see how much I love them and their father.  Now don’t go looking for examples otherwise….I’m sure they’re out there but just the same it’s something I’ve been thinking about.  Isn’t it an odd thought that someday blogs will be what someone might remember you by?  I have some 1920’s letters from my grandfather to my grandmother before they were married that certainly changed my perception of them…..but of course I didn’t get those until they were long gone….

So….all in all a somewhat exhausting day.  Cub Scouts tonight.  Man I bet that means we can’t watch any Gilmore Girls until LATE. Ernie and Leo would get mad if we jumped ahead without them. Maybe Owen and I can watch the behind the scenes special—-we’ve been saving that….