I’m trying to be more cheerful and not be so depressing on here.  Frankly however, I don’t know how successful I will be.  My mother is still terribly sick with this horrible cold and not doing well eating or drinking.  I’m really quite worried about taking her to the doctor tomorrow.  If she gets whisked into the hospital I will have to bring my father home to stay with us which could be REALLY interesting.   The appointment tomorrow is with their gerontologist and is for both of them.  It should be loads of fun. 

Here is Gina’s Judi update:

Hello to all,

I can’t begin to describe how extremely difficult the last 10 days have been for Judi.  The awful cold that still hangs on, the effects of the radiation, the chemo "fog" and nausea, the stomach irritation, 6 days in the hospital …………….. but she’s climbing out once again though slowly.  She can’t drive; she can’t walk Wally; she can’t cook; she doesn’t even have the strength yet to sit and read a good book.  But today was better than yesterday, so we’ll take it!!!!  The best thing that could have happened was having her friend from Utah arrive the same day she came home from the hospital.  Sandy took great care of her; made sure she ate; helped her around the house with paperwork; and on and on.  I tell Judi over and over what great friends she has, and she always responds with "Yes, I really do."

As awful as Judi felt when she got home from the hospital, she immediately noticed the blue penguin covered sheets on her bed that her department gave her.  She slid immediately into the bed and said they felt wonderful.  Such a practical yet fun gift!

She had another radiation treatment this morning followed by an appointment with her oncologist.  We had expected chemo to start up again tomorrow, but her platelet count was too low.  She got a shot today to boost that count, will get another of the same on Wednesday, and will have chemo on Thursday.  Judi realizes that she’s almost halfway through the radiation.  She also knows that there are only two rounds of chemo scheduled after the radiation, so she’s working hard at keeping that remission goal in front of her.  And then she can’t wait to get back to work!!!

Please keep her in your thoughts, prayers, and practices.  Knowing how much all of you care is truly pulling her through all of this!


Sigh.  I read that and I think "who is she talking about?  That can’t be happening to my sister."

Me, I’ve just got a tiny cold.  Actually I feel better today….I think going to bed at 7:55 p.m. and sleeping a good eleven hours helped.  I wasn’t even all that sleepy when I went to bed but I felt exhausted and so I crawled into bed and just laid there listening to the boys bickering over Lego and getting ready for bed.  I drifted in and out of sleep dreaming about zinnias with Kevin Welch and Kieran Kane songs wafting through my head.  I woke up when Ernie came to bed and later again at 3:00 a.m.  I thought it was morning and when I saw it was only 3 I happily snuggled back into my blankets.  My only disappointment was that it didn’t snow as predicted.  I live in the WRONG place for someone who loves snow.  Chicago has had tons this year…unfortunately it always goes too far north for us…..

Ernie continues to do more and more and more for my parents which I worry about.   Today he brings my mother in for bloodwork and calls the state drug prescription program to try to figure out why my father’s didn’t go through and my mother’s did.  Tomorrow I will take off work to take my folks to the doctor—I try to do that as much as possible but there are constraints work-wise.  Thursday he takes my mother to get her hair cut—something I’ve never asked him to do but I don’t notice until it’s way too long and then I couldn’t get an appointment at a time when I could take her….argh….

I am very worried.  Something has to change.

Hell…this wasn’t more cheerful was it?

5 thoughts on “worry

  1. You have to vent somehow and hopefully knowing there are people reading and who care helps just a little. I’m so sorry all this is going on for all of you. As always if there is anything we can do, we are just a walk or phone call away. You are an amazingly strong person!

  2. Why do you need to be cheerful here? I care, and I want to know how you’re doing — during the hard times, too.
    What you’re juggling right now would bring me to my knees. Chronicle it all — the highs and lows. You are helping people by sharing and by being you.
    It all matters.
    And the penguin sheets thing made me cry.