Overall…a relatively crappy weekend. I had hoped to do some antiquing but then I remembered it was the Lincoln Square Model Railroad show…..the ultimate high holiday in Leo’s life so we nixed the antiquing plans. We started to get ready to go when Owen announced that he didn’t want to go. He calmly explained that Leo liked trains, he didn’t. I thought about it. He’s right of course and although we tend to do everything as a family Ernie and I have talked of late of the need to sometimes do things one on one with the guys. So Ernie and Leo went off to the train show and I stayed home with Owen and watched a movie and snuggled with him. On one hand I was delighted not to go but on the other hand…..I was a little sad. The first year since 2001 that I didn’t see all the model railroads. The end of an era…..
Leo came home from the train show flushed and by afternoon had a fever so we had to cancel our plans to go to friends for dinner which I was disappointed about. Owen was so whiny that I thought he was coming down with it but they woke up on Sunday o.k. I trundled off to my folks house. My dad was pretty chipper…moving slower than ever but he was making quips about ‘get me to the church on time’ etc. so it was a pretty good day. He was very happy to be at church and of course it was all quite
dramatic being Palm Sunday. I am a sucker for the drama….holy water
flung at palms…crimson banners and robes…. Afterwards, he said he wanted to go grocery shopping with me so I drove over to Schnuck’s but then he decided he wanted to sit in the car. I said no way and zipped him home and went back and did the shopping.
Got home to grumpy guys. Nobody wanted to do anything…whininess and grumpiness spread across the family. I finally got everyone out of the house and we went seed shopping at Prairie Gardens. Found ourselves stumped for something else to do which isn’t like us. My back was hurting again so I didn’t want to go for a walk at Allerton or Meadowbrook, going to a movie sounded very unpleasant, it was too muddy to really work in the yard…..so things degenerated a bit. You know, when you have children you never imagine them hurting your
feelings. Maybe as a teenager or as an adult…but not as little
ones. After all you’re the parent and mature enough to put it all in
perspective. Well…easier said than done sometimes. Owen managed to hurt my feelings and I was feeling rather grumpy. Ernie took Owen off to the playground and when they came back Owen, with bright red cheeks and smelling like the cold outdoors, plopped down on the couch next to me and cheerfully said, "Daddy says I need to respect you more so I’m going to" and smiled like the little puppy dog he is as Ernie rolled his eyes. A little while later Leo had a fit because I said no to tv or computer. Things progressed until he finally said "I hate you." Normally we respond to this relatively calmly and explain that those aren’t words we use in the house and that we love him no matter what. Particularly with Leo, getting upset or punishing him just exacerbates things. However I had had it that day so I immediately did the adult thing: got teary and stood up to go in the other room. Owen immediately saw his chance and ran over and escorted me into the other room, patting my back and soothing me all the way.
Later Ernie told me that as he did that…..he turned around, smiled widely and gave Ernie a thumbs up….
So the only really good thing about the weekend was that I got some pictures:
Leo trying not to let his brother get close to him:
Leo trying to hide a smile:
God only knows:
Oh just wait! When they hit the teenaged years, the words sting even worse.
When I was about a thousand weeks pregnant with my daughter I saw a kid say “I hate you,” to their mother on a TV show. I started balling and called my mother saying I’m so sorry. I realized that someday my tiny little baby I hadn’t even held yet would say that to me and it broke my heart. She hasn’t said it yet (or much of anything) but I know it’s coming and my heart hurts in anticipation.
I still remember when, as a child, I accused my mom of loving my brother more than me. She was obviously deeply hurt by my comment, and she left the room in tears. I think that was the moment when I realized my parents were vulnerable human beings. I felt awful about what I’d said, and I never made any intentionally hurtful remarks after that. Well, not that I remember anyway…