1.  Long time, no post little blog and I was so sick this week that I didn’t even MISS you.  I am finally feeling better after a relatively dreadful week however. I ate a real dinner last night and woke up feeling somewhat normal this morning.  Woo-hoooooo!

2.  Ernie is off to a show in Iowa.  I don’t have high hopes for it but I’m hoping he has a good time.  It’s a fun show to do and hell….they serve margaritas during set up….

3.  I am planning a very quiet weekend…well, at least as quiet as a weekend with the guys can be.  Other than convincing them to have their semi-annual bath I’m hoping to ignore them as much as possible and just let them play with Lego and the neighborhood kids (supposed to be 60 degrees today!).  I am going to work on taxes…which I must admit I kind of enjoy in a sick kind of way….and do nothing else today.  Tomorrow of course I’ll take Dad to church, etc., etc.

4.  Judi is doing pretty well.  As I said, her scans looked clean, she saw Dr. Kooby in Atlanta yesterday and everything looked fine and she even squeezed in time for a couple of blood transfusions which should help her weakness.  Her friend Annie will be with her this week which will be a nice treat for her and I’ll be down there in a couple of weeks. This was a pretty tough week for her even though overall it was good….

5.  Leo received his present from Aunt Debbie and let’s just say he was BESIDE himself with joy.  Remember the Lionel milk car he wanted so bad?  Well…

6.  The other night I was laying in bed feeling very sick.  Owen was at the foot of the bed cuddling with Bob the cat.  I must have made a little sound because Owen asked me what was wrong.  I told him I just felt very sick.  He thought about it and then said, "well, that happens to me sometimes and what I do is I go into my mind.  I think about different scenes that make me happy—they can be real or they can be made up.  You should try that Mommy." I did try it and it did help.  My sweet pea is a very special little guy.

7.  The other evening I talked to my mother and she was on me about sending some things to my sisters that my aunt had sent to me to send to them instead of just sending to them and frankly I’ve got a lot going on and it’s just not the top of my list for god’s sake, o.k?  I tried to say, "mom, please, I just don’t need any more pressure right now" to no avail.  So I snapped and was WAY cross with her and of course ended up with her apologizing all over the place and me in tears.  I got off the phone and just cried because, hell, it seemed the thing to do.  Every so often something just shoots my stress level to the breaking point. I felt bad for upsetting her so I called her back and apologized and said, "I’m so sorry, I’m just not feeling well and I’m really on edge."  Her response? 

I kid you not…..

she said, "what are you on edge about honey?"

Honest.  That’s what she said.

I didn’t have the ability to say" well, the fact that you and dad should be in a nursing home, that I don’t think you eat half the time when Dad can’t function to get you a meal, that we’re just waiting for other shoe to drop with you both, that my sister had stage four cancer, that my husband has stage 3 cancer that has returned, that my son hates kindergarten and….and….and…."  so I just said, "uh" and she said, "oh, you mean Ernie?  Well of course we’re all concerned.  He HAS to be o.k." and I just said, "uh, yeah" and we apologized again to each other and got off the phone. 

I just looked at Ernie and said, "she wants to know why I’m on edge" in a dazed voice. 

We laughed about. God, I love my husband.

8.  I’m going to leave you with this song from one of my all time favorite bands however….Thin White Rope.