Random Notes from the Funeral

1.  So many people came that I never expected to come.  So many flowers and cards and gifts that I never expected. It really warms me.  I hope that I manage to be half as gracious and kind as everyone has been to me.

2.  Wearing heels for the first time in 7 months = VERY unhappy calf muscles and feet.  There’s a reason I’ve given up on them.

3.  I think my mother and I were both a bit numb.  Debbie, Ernie and Leo really cried…particularly my sweet Leo…looking like a little baby rock star dressed up for a funeral….crying in my arms during the funeral.

4.  Owen demanded to sit next to my mother….’because he loves her so much and wanted to hold her hand when she got sad."

5.  Owen and Debbie brought the gifts to the altar.  Father Joe was so kind and told Owen how proud his grandfather would be.  My Owen.

6.  The funeral was wonderful—-I felt somewhat suspended in time and place.  It seemed to be the fastest mass I have ever sat through—-I guess I wanted to hang on to it.  Father Joe’s words about my father were spot on.  It was a lovely service and I am really grateful to him and the other members of the church that made it so special.

7.  When we left for the cemetery the boys were ravenous.  RAVENOUS.  Of course I hadn’t thought ahead well enough about timing and snacks.  Leo, who isn’t a big eater, kept saying " I could eat a QUARTER of this vehicle."  So we stopped at a gas station and I let them have some chips.  Thus when we got to the cemetery there was the faint aroma of Doritos floating around the grave.

8.  Owen of course had to look inside the box at the cremated remains.  They were wrapped in plastic but he got to poke his hand into them a bit.

9.  I like the little cemetery.

10.  Afterwards we went to lunch at Silvercreek.  I’m kind of neutral about Silvercreek but it seemed like a good spot and it’s right down the street from my mother’s house.  When we got there they said they were shortstaffed and hoped we weren’t in a hurry.  We weren’t but it gave me pause….however we ended up with the most wonderful waitress I’ve ever had in my life.  Later she told us she’d just stopped in to pick up her check but decided to help out.  We were seated in the bar area and we felt like we had our own private little spot—it was perfect.  Mid-meal Owen started chatting with her–explaining that we’d just come from his Grandpa’s funeral and that we’d turned him into ashes.  They had quite a conversation and she ended up coming and sitting down and chatting with my mother—asking how long they’d been married and how they met etc.  She really turned a lunch of exhausted people into something special.  We left her a good tip but there’s no way to really tell her how special she was.  Isn’t that amazing?  More unexpected kindness…..

11.  The man that takes care of my parents’ yard came yesterday morning  and mowed it all as a gift.  Then he fortunately was there when my mother fell and  was able to get her back into her wheelchair.  When my mother and Debbie got home after the funeral there was a plant on the porch waiting for them from him and his wife.  Yet more unexpected kindness…

12. Getting the boys dressed yesterday morning was the only iffy part of the day.  Leo said he didn’t want to wear socks and I said fine because it was such a HUGE concession for him to tuck in his shirt and I figure you have to pick your battles.  However I hadn’t realized how much he’d grown and how short his pants would be.  I think it gave him rather a rakish air however…..