1.  ahhhh, where to start?  Well, Friday afternoon I spent with my mother at the nursing home meeting with social workers, administrators, nursing staff, etc.  Everyone was very kind but it was very long.  Then we went upstairs to see my father and it was not so good.  First we found him at 4:30 in the afternoon with no frigging hearing aids in his ears.  He may have dementia but he still can’t communicate without his hearing aids. We’ve asked several times before that he have them in all the time so this time I was livid.  Absolutely livid.  I stomped into his room, got his hearing aids, stomped back to him and put them in his ears.  I said "is that better?’ and he nodded yes.  Then I stomped down to the nurses station and raised my voice loudly.  They stared at me and nodded.  Later someone came by to give him his pills (ground up in apple sauce) and my mother brought it up again….the nurse started asking me who I wanted to speak with and I said, "I DON’T CARE WHO I SPEAK WITH I JUST WANT HIS HEARING AIDS IN HIS EARS EVERY SINGLE DAY."   Given that we were sitting in a lounge area with lots of residents and visitors there were a few stares. They quickly brought the nurse manager over and she was kind and responsive and of course I cried because that’s what I do when I get really mad.  I went home too exhausted to do anything about getting ready for the party.

2.  Saturday was cold and windy, not the spring day I had pictured.  Ernie’s been in terrible pain from his hip which makes me worry.  He can’t take any ibuprofen or aspirin until after his surgery and since let’s face, the man is a walking ibuprofen tablet, it’s been tough on him. Then our power went out mid day and I said, "oh fuck the cleaning."  Ernie persevered but somewhat halfheartedly.  I figured that everyone coming liked us already and wouldn’t care about our house. Hopefully I was right.

3.  If you’d ever told me when I was  18 years old and devoted to the Vertebrats that Kenny Draznik would be sitting in my living room singing Left in the Dark I would have thought you highly imaginative to say the least.  It was so wonderful to see Kenny and Paul.  And to have other friends like Pat, Diane, David, etc., etc., because I can’t name everyone.  What a wonderful and warming evening.

4.  I’m hoping Kenny’s gotten over how many people I invited.  It really wasn’t supposed to be many….but things happen….

5. Sunday I had to go to work and coordinate a children’s event.  Not at all what I was in the mood for but poor Ernie got nursing home duty so I guess I came out ahead.

6.  One of my favorite things about Saturday night was watching some of the kids sitting on the stairs behind the guys.  Owen sat there bobbing his head and tapping the railing in time to the music.  When he would see me looking he would grin and give me a thumbs up.   Then it became two thumbs up and then he flashed all ten fingers and THEN a thumbs up which evidently means thumbs up to the tenth degree. Yesterday when I asked him how he liked the music he widened his eyes hugely and said, OH, I LOVED IT MOMMY and nodded vigorously.  Leo dryly commented that he liked it but the music was a little loud.

7.  I also liked it when Owen told me how nice it had been talking to Don’s mom (sorry Sarah)….

8. Back to work this morning but I feel a little stronger with that night behind me….thanks everyone….


Paul, Kenny, Wendy, Bernie, Ernie (why does he always do that in pictures?), Pat and Jeff

2 thoughts on “Random Notes from the Weekend

  1. I’m really bummed that they haven’t made their own efforts to put your dad’s hearing aids on him each day. That sort of dismissal of him (what it feels like to me and must feel like to you) seems unhelpful in a healing environment of any kind. To heal, we need to cooperate and communicate as best as we can.
    I cry, too, when I get angry.