This is the first day I have found myself all wound up and stressed since my father died. Not that I haven't been stressed out since then but somehow I've felt as though I've been in a bit of a fog. The fog seems to be lifting for better or worse. I woke up this morning with Owen next to me and felt suspicious wetness. I wasn't surprised…he was so exhausted last night that he didn't wake up and peed all over us. Ugh. So I laid there getting all tense wondering why the hell I told my mother that I didn't need the perfectly good queen size mattress in her garage and let her give it to her home care worker. What was I thinking? Did I just forget about all the times Owen has managed to pee in our bed? But an even better question is why am I getting tense about this? Then I started worrying about the fact that I am supposed to be checking my blood pressure and calling my doctor but I keep forgetting to do that but I keep getting headaches as I do when it's high so why don't I just CHECK the damn thing instead of worrying about it? I have to take my mother to the doctor today and I'm a bit worried and I forgot that I have to wait for something to be delivered for work at the same time as her appointment and the secretary is out so I was going to have Ernie take my mom but she really wanted me to take her this time so maybe I'll have Ernie go to work for me and wait for the delivery. Am I crazy? I dunno know. Am I tense? Yes. Do I have a headache? Yes.
A couple of bright notes however:
Last night as it got dark Leo and Ricky pulled chairs out into the middle of the field next to us to sit and watch the bats (Batty and Fred). Leo came in when it was totally dark, shook his head and said, "there was some goooood bat action out there tonight."
The reason Owen slept in our bed was because he wanted to go upstairs and read when I did. So we both got into bed, I read my novel and he read a little bit of one of Leo's Indiana Jones books. Before we went upstairs he made himself a bookmark for it. It's so nice to lay next to someone you love and read. It may even be worth the pee in the bed….
One thought on “Winding up”
“there was some goooood bat action out there tonight.”