More Notes from the Apocolypse

Well, not the apocolypse actually….but aging.

Why do people never tell you that your toenails get harder and thicker as you get older? Anyone who has ever dealt with an 80 year old's toenails knows this WAY too well but somehow you don't think it will happen to you. Now I don't have 80 year old toe  nails but they aren't sweet 20 somethings either. WTF?

I never dreamed….

AND another question. Why is it that when I was in my 20's I could have a good cry and an hour later all I needed was some refreshed eyeliner and I was good to go? Side note: God I loved my eyeliner in the 80's.

Now, I have a brief cry and the next day my eyes are huge puffballs. Am I such an dried up old thing that my body panics at the idea of me losing more fluid through tears so it shuts down and retains everything?? Is that it?

And how can anyone in their right mind expect someone raised to politely leave two spaces after a sentence be expected to leave a SINGLE FRIGGING SPACE?

It looks rude. 

Hmph.

 

P1100842

on a different note: the heliotrope in my window box smells so good that we all have to smell it every night before we go to bed….

 

 

9 thoughts on “More Notes from the Apocolypse

  1. I’ve got some hedge clippers I can lend you for those toenails. They work just fine on mine! Hang in there until the 23rd and I’ll even help you!

  2. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA. VAN! you are tooooo funny. and such a nice guy!
    btw, I got this hang nail I need to have you check out.
    geez Cynthia, I’m glad I didn’t learn to type until 1992 or so. (although it is still questionable whether I know how or not). Me being called a pecker may have more than one meaning….

  3. I can SO relate…after crying (even if its only cause of a sappy commercial), I get what is affectionately known as “sausage eyes”, nice, I know. Just know that you aren’t in this alone. Its a damn good thing that we are not only wise and witty but really good lookin too..or at least thats what I keep telling myself. 🙂

  4. The tears cause puffy eye thing … have that one down to a science. Took me a long time to adjust to one space after a period. When did that happen anyway?

  5. For the record, I refuse to conform to the single space thing. And I have a friend who just suggested–hang onto your hat–hemorrhoid cream for the puffy eyes thing. Who knew?

  6. I learned a long time ago to trim toenails right after a bath or shower, they are MUCH easier to cut.

Thoughts?

More Notes from the Apocolypse

Well, not the apocolypse actually….but aging.

Why do people never tell you that your toenails get harder and thicker as you get older? Anyone who has ever dealt with an 80 year old's toenails knows this WAY too well but somehow you don't think it will happen to you. Now I don't have 80 year old toe  nails but they aren't sweet 20 somethings either. WTF?

I never dreamed….

AND another question. Why is it that when I was in my 20's I could have a good cry and an hour later all I needed was some refreshed eyeliner and I was good to go? Side note: God I loved my eyeliner in the 80's.

Now, I have a brief cry and the next day my eyes are huge puffballs. Am I such an dried up old thing that my body panics at the idea of me losing more fluid through tears so it shuts down and retains everything?? Is that it?

And how can anyone in their right mind expect someone raised to politely leave two spaces after a sentence be expected to leave a SINGLE FRIGGING SPACE?

It looks rude. 

Hmph.

 

P1100842

on a different note: the heliotrope in my window box smells so good that we all have to smell it every night before we go to bed….

 

 

9 thoughts on “More Notes from the Apocolypse

  1. I’ve got some hedge clippers I can lend you for those toenails. They work just fine on mine! Hang in there until the 23rd and I’ll even help you!

  2. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA. VAN! you are tooooo funny. and such a nice guy!
    btw, I got this hang nail I need to have you check out.
    geez Cynthia, I’m glad I didn’t learn to type until 1992 or so. (although it is still questionable whether I know how or not). Me being called a pecker may have more than one meaning….

  3. I can SO relate…after crying (even if its only cause of a sappy commercial), I get what is affectionately known as “sausage eyes”, nice, I know. Just know that you aren’t in this alone. Its a damn good thing that we are not only wise and witty but really good lookin too..or at least thats what I keep telling myself. 🙂

  4. The tears cause puffy eye thing … have that one down to a science. Took me a long time to adjust to one space after a period. When did that happen anyway?

  5. For the record, I refuse to conform to the single space thing. And I have a friend who just suggested–hang onto your hat–hemorrhoid cream for the puffy eyes thing. Who knew?

  6. I learned a long time ago to trim toenails right after a bath or shower, they are MUCH easier to cut.

Thoughts?

More Notes from the Apocolypse

Well, not the apocolypse actually….but aging.

Why do people never tell you that your toenails get harder and thicker as you get older? Anyone who has ever dealt with an 80 year old's toenails knows this WAY too well but somehow you don't think it will happen to you. Now I don't have 80 year old toe  nails but they aren't sweet 20 somethings either. WTF?

I never dreamed….

AND another question. Why is it that when I was in my 20's I could have a good cry and an hour later all I needed was some refreshed eyeliner and I was good to go? Side note: God I loved my eyeliner in the 80's.

Now, I have a brief cry and the next day my eyes are huge puffballs. Am I such an dried up old thing that my body panics at the idea of me losing more fluid through tears so it shuts down and retains everything?? Is that it?

And how can anyone in their right mind expect someone raised to politely leave two spaces after a sentence be expected to leave a SINGLE FRIGGING SPACE?

It looks rude. 

Hmph.

 

P1100842

on a different note: the heliotrope in my window box smells so good that we all have to smell it every night before we go to bed….

 

 

8 thoughts on “More Notes from the Apocolypse

  1. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA. VAN! you are tooooo funny. and such a nice guy!
    btw, I got this hang nail I need to have you check out.
    geez Cynthia, I’m glad I didn’t learn to type until 1992 or so. (although it is still questionable whether I know how or not). Me being called a pecker may have more than one meaning….

  2. I can SO relate…after crying (even if its only cause of a sappy commercial), I get what is affectionately known as “sausage eyes”, nice, I know. Just know that you aren’t in this alone. Its a damn good thing that we are not only wise and witty but really good lookin too..or at least thats what I keep telling myself. 🙂

  3. The tears cause puffy eye thing … have that one down to a science. Took me a long time to adjust to one space after a period. When did that happen anyway?

  4. For the record, I refuse to conform to the single space thing. And I have a friend who just suggested–hang onto your hat–hemorrhoid cream for the puffy eyes thing. Who knew?

  5. I learned a long time ago to trim toenails right after a bath or shower, they are MUCH easier to cut.

Thoughts?