I'm missing my mythical family. You know the one you have in the fantasy version of your life? It doesn't really make any sense….because honestly, if my sister were still alive she'd be far away in South Carolina and I wouldn't be able to have the boys stay at her house. And if my parents were still alive they'd be in no shape to take the boys overnight either. So why do I miss them so much when I try to figure out where the boys will stay when we're in Chicago? I don't know…but I do.

I think part of it is the election too. My parents were always very involved in discussion about politics. Ernie and my mother had MANY, many discussions about current events. She loved talking politics with Ernie. And I remember the last presidential election when I was struggling to deal my dying sister and the boys and I didn't call my mother the night of the election…and the next day she wept because she'd been so lonely. I've always felt so sad about that. I go back and read the post from that day and I realize how much better things are than they were then but then I realize that they are better because I'm not caring for people that are gone and that makes me feel lousy and kind of selfish.


In cat news, Annie stayed overnight at the vet's. She was dehydrated and
had a fever. They think that the lump could possibly be an infection
since it came on so quickly. They are giving her antibiotics and
hopefully we'll see some change. Otherwise they will do a biopsy on the
lump and that just uh…doesn't sound good to me. So, crossed fingers
please…the last thing we need around here is somebody dying from
cancer even if it is a cat and not a human…

Last night we watched Eric Brace and Peter Cooper on Stage it last night and they did my heart good. I can't wait until they come back—hopefully early next year! AND I think I've got it figured out where the boys will stay when we go see Ian. Pending one final schedule check so cross your fingers again please. I swear Ian Hunter will fill me with the power. I don't know WHAT power but I swear I'll have it after I see him.

Lastly, here is my favorite picture from Ernie's week in Nashville. My sweet boy with Mary Ann Werner (of Red Beet Records, and Eric Brace's wife as well) and Mark Gerking. Aren't they beautiful? I had given Ernie strict instructions to meet Mary Ann because although I haven't met her in person I like her already. And of course she is like me in that we have great taste in husbands!



4 thoughts on “Missing Family, A Favorite Picture and Ian Hunter Gives Me the Power

  1. Isn’t it weird the things that bring back the sense of loss? Earlier this summer you posted about heliotrope and how good it smelled, which inspired me to go look for some. The garden center I went to only had two plants left, which they were about to throw away because they looked dry and tatty, so they gave them to me for free (and of course, I was so grateful that I ended up spending MORE on other plants than I probably would have otherwise, with or without the heliotrope). On my way home I found myself feeling SO SAD that I couldn’t just call my mom up and tell her about that transaction. It wasn’t all that remarkable, but it locked into so many stupid little things that would come up in our weekly phone conversations. It suddenly and overwhelmingly felt SO UNFAIR that she wasn’t there anymore to call up and tell these things to.
    The old post you linked to made me wish I could give 2008 Cynthia a hug and pour her a drink and take the boys out for some junk food while she had a little down time.

  2. man….I have the loveliest friends! I’m glad I’m not the 2008 Cynthia despite how much I miss them all. And yes, it’s just those little moments that you want to share…. thx to all….