I was in a ridiculously good mood yesterday. As I drove around doing a few work errands in the rain I felt so good….looking forward to hosting a surprise birthday party for our beloved Tom Sheehan but still planning to squeeze in time for lunch with my husband. I couldn't help but think that we are in a pretty good place right now. I have my worries and concerns but life feels pretty good. Our biggest day to day worry is money and I've always figured that if that's my biggest problem then I'm doing pretty damn well.

Ernie and I had our traditional Friday lunch at Fries and Peanuts and got to talk to Mary which always makes it better. We got home right at 2:00 so Ernie unlocked the door for me and then immediately took off down the block to pick up Owen. I headed towards the kitchen as I had some cooking to do for the party. As I turned to go into the kitchen something caught my eye…I turned around and looked down at…..a snake.


A snake.

I immediately levitated and appeared on the front porch screaming my head off for Ernie. He may have been halfway down the block but he heard me….as I imagine half of Champaign did. He came racing back and disposed of it (first he had the termerity to try to TALK to me while holding it). Now I will admit that the cats had done their duty and deprived it of life but it was still a SNAKE ON MY DINING ROOM FLOOR.


I stood there frozen by the front door as Ernie went to pick up Owen. 

I cried.

And then, because I was terrified to walk into the dining room again, I went upstairs and crawled into my bed with my jacket still on, pulled the blankets over my head and sobbed.

I know.

I know.

It was a little garter snake and it was dead.

I know.

I cried anyway.

Owen came racing up to comfort me as soon as he got home.

Oh lord.

They coaxed me back downstairs and I curled up in a living room chair. As soon as Leo got home he said, "I heard" and came and hugged and kissed me.

A snake.

In my house.

Eventually I was able to go into the kitchen but I did make Owen do things like get the onions out of the cupboard for me. Ernie tried to convince me that two garter snakes in fourteen years isn't bad.

Oh lord.

Why can I not conquer this irrational fear? I swear I have tried.

I did manage to pull it together and cook some food and once people started to pour in for the party it was all good again. LOVED having the party here—we were delighted to do it. We adore Tom and Rebecca and their kids….and felt honored to have the party for him…

but still.

there was a SNAKE in my dining room.



2 thoughts on “Why DID It Have To Be Snakes?

  1. I’m sorry Cynthia, but I laughed! Don’t feel bad, my irrational fear, besides being in heavy traffic for which I have to take Xanax (don’t worry, Bob drives)is of fish hooks. If there’s one around, I have to keep checking it to make sure it hasn’t gotten loose. As if one could come alive and impale itself in me. Just can’t get past it. At least lots of other folks feel the same way you do.

  2. Gah! I wanted to go to bed and cry just reading this. Big-big spiders do this to me. I recently found a hunting-camo fleece jacket that was Brian’s, and have been wearing it around the house. A fly landed on it last night, and since it was camoflauged, I could barely see the thing moving. Convinced it was a tarantula, I screamed my head off while simultaneously tearing off the garment. Goodwill, is where this jacket will go.