I am as guilty of political bias as the next person. I fall into not expecting asinine comments from someone with whom I share many political opinions, or whose writing I often enjoy.
I'm an idiot.
Today on facebook, in a thread about the News-Gazette's Jim Dey, Greg Springer (whom I do not know, although I think Ernie might know him…not sure) commented, "Pity the guy. He had his prostate removed."
I asked if he would say "Pity the woman. She had a mastectomy." He asked if it was the same thing….ahhhh….I'll just copy it here…
A couple of different things to think about here. First…the blaming thing that happens with cancer. When my sister was diagnosed with bile duct cancer people routinely asked, "Oh, did she eat meat?" That's right…it was HER fault. Actually Judi was never a big meat eater….she actually ate a pretty healthy diet, had a trainer, worked out….but hell…if we can blame her…then I guess it can't happen to US, huh?
And so saying that it was Jim Dey's choice to go for surgery rather than other options…. Jesus Fucking Christ. So somehow it's his FAULT that MAYBE he has sexual disfunction (some people do, some people don't just fyi)…. Actually all prostate cancer treatments can cause sexual disfunction at some point so let's give Jim Dey a break here and assume that he considered all options and chose the right one based on the information he had at the time.
I guess it's because the prostate is related to sex, and hell, most people don't even know what it is, that people get uncomfortable with it….maybe start making juvenile sniggering jokes….in a way that (hopefully) most people don't do with breast cancer. Although I'm sure people make plenty of irritatingly ignorant remarks about that as well. It's all part of making sure it's US and THEM.
When Ernie was first diagnosed the boys were in preschool and I remember standing in a group of mothers at the garage sale fundraiser and one of them saying "Well, what IS a prostate?" I explained that it was a gland that produces semen. There was dead silence and nobody really said anything else about the whole situation. Weird.
Then again, I remember when I was pregnant with Leo and Ernie and I were watching films in the parenting classes. The ones of actual vaginal births people watched with great seriousness. The ones about breastfeeding with lots of breasts everywhere….some people got giggley. I've never forgotten that. Boggled my mind.
So back to facebook….he deleted most of his comments, leaving mine in a weird prostate obsessed void. And he added one more comment saying he shouldn't have been politically incorrect, some more jokes, and "you haven't got a prostate."
Learn something every day.
I think those of you that know me can attest that I tend to find humor, black or otherwise, in a lot of shitty situations. Generally that humor is funnier if it's coming from the person actually experiencing the shitty situation though.
Prostate cancer. Yeah, it's a big joke.
This is what the thread looks like now.