A moderately frustrating week. Busy, but not bad, at work, but my back went to hell on Wednesday. Thursday I managed to somehow lay flat and still work…creating a little nest for myself on the red couch. Yesterday I worked until noon and my back was really terrible the whole time. I had lunch with my beloved Renee, who lectured me on taking care of myself and advocating for myself with the doctors. I don't think I was the best company, because I was hurting so bad, but it felt good to have someone lecture me out of love. I went and laid flat on the couch for awhile until I headed back into work for an event. I was supposed to be standing outside at a table but Nancy kindly lugged out a chair for me. I took some Tramadol to try to get the pain under control but it just made me woozy and and nauseous. It's hard to decide which is worse. I got home pretty early and collapsed. Ernie and I chatted for a bit and we watched some tv. I was too tired to really eat much. This morning I woke up hungry but had to go to get blood work for my doctor's appointment on Monday. I got there and of course there was no order for the blood work. And it's Saturday so they can't call the office, and my appointment is Monday at 8 am. Damn it. I went back and forth between postponing it and going anyway. I think I'll go despite the lack of tests. I'm frustrated with my health. I feel as though every part of me is getting farmed out…some to a gastroenterologist, some to a dermatologist, some to a gynecologist, some to an opthalmologist….and none of that even includes my back. I just want someone to try to connect the dots. I feel like the dots have to connect somehow. Dots connect, right? Isn't that what dots are supposed to do?
It all made me a little frustrated and a bit sad. I made Ernie take me out to Los Huaraches Moroleon for breakfast, which helped. It's not the easiest thing to eat at a Mexican restaurant without garlic or onion, but I tried. I think I ordered poorly and I ate the rice which I'm sure had garlic and onion but what the hell. It was nice to hang out with my guy.
Now to start the ribs for our last Outlander Fest tonight.