Raisins

Well, I have been poked and prodded with the best of them this week, and yet still don't really know what's going on with me. The dizzy spells and lightheadedness are a bit better but still there. Wednesday I had the pleasure of a pelvic and vaginal ultrasound. I've had these before and don't mind them terribly but this one wasn't a load of fun. It's one of those things you are supposed to have a full bladder for, which always makes me anxious, as once you given birth to a child whose head was off the charts (thank you Leo), your bladder control is never quite the same. But Lord only knows that I am a good girl, I mean I'm Polly Voelkl's daughter, so I followed the instructions to a T. An hour before the appointment I guzzled 40 ounces of water, finishing within 20 minutes. I toddled off to the North Clinic and went to Radiology in the basement. They called me in a bit early. The technician was nice-ish but seemed suspicious of my water intake. "How much water did you drink?" followed by a frown as she looked at my bladder. "What time did you finish?" She just looked at me skeptically when I told her. I guess it was full enough as she kept going. Normally when you're on your back looking up they have kind of shield over the light so it doesn't blind you. Evidently there was something wrong with it as it was kind of a bare bulb blazing at me. Finally she said I could empty my bladder so I tried to pull my dress down as I got off the table, stay steady, and headed down the hall…sort of unnerving after  being in a dark room and then plunging into a bright hallway with a huge blind spot blinking in front of your eyes. I made it back to start the other ultrasound. It was ok, but more uncomfortable than those in the past. Midway through another technician comes in and I guess they switched…which seemed weird without them telling me. Generally speaking I like to know who is putting something in my vagina. They finally finished and left, leaving me to get dressed and wander through various waiting rooms until I found my husband. I made him buy me a glass of wine as I felt I deserved it.

Oh, and during the exam they told me that as you get older your ovaries shrink to the size of raisins, so that's why they were having problems finding them. I found this moderately depressing.

Raisins.

The poor little things.

Yesterday was the echocardiogram. I was a little nervous about this one. We trotted off to the Heart and Vascular Institute, signed in, and got our little restaurant pager. The technician was very nice. Ernie sat in the corner and read a book and I just laid there while she moved my breasts around trying to get to my heart. It turns out my breasts were in the way a bit…took another technician, and some damn hard pressing to get what they needed. I have a sore spot from it, and my bra almost killed me today but I had to wear a bra as I had to go to ANOTHER DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. HOW DID THIS ALL HAPPEN TO ME? WTF?

I'm supposed to get results next week. So I guess I sit in limbo a while longer with my two big breasts and my raisin size ovaries.

Life is so undignified.

 

IMG_8958 

2 thoughts on “Raisins

  1. That seems really sexist. Or just mean. There’s lots of things that are raisin-sized. They could compare them to blueberries!

Thoughts?

Raisins

Well, I have been poked and prodded with the best of them this week, and yet still don't really know what's going on with me. The dizzy spells and lightheadedness are a bit better but still there. Wednesday I had the pleasure of a pelvic and vaginal ultrasound. I've had these before and don't mind them terribly but this one wasn't a load of fun. It's one of those things you are supposed to have a full bladder for, which always makes me anxious, as once you given birth to a child whose head was off the charts (thank you Leo), your bladder control is never quite the same. But Lord only knows that I am a good girl, I mean I'm Polly Voelkl's daughter, so I followed the instructions to a T. An hour before the appointment I guzzled 40 ounces of water, finishing within 20 minutes. I toddled off to the North Clinic and went to Radiology in the basement. They called me in a bit early. The technician was nice-ish but seemed suspicious of my water intake. "How much water did you drink?" followed by a frown as she looked at my bladder. "What time did you finish?" She just looked at me skeptically when I told her. I guess it was full enough as she kept going. Normally when you're on your back looking up they have kind of shield over the light so it doesn't blind you. Evidently there was something wrong with it as it was kind of a bare bulb blazing at me. Finally she said I could empty my bladder so I tried to pull my dress down as I got off the table, stay steady, and headed down the hall…sort of unnerving after  being in a dark room and then plunging into a bright hallway with a huge blind spot blinking in front of your eyes. I made it back to start the other ultrasound. It was ok, but more uncomfortable than those in the past. Midway through another technician comes in and I guess they switched…which seemed weird without them telling me. Generally speaking I like to know who is putting something in my vagina. They finally finished and left, leaving me to get dressed and wander through various waiting rooms until I found my husband. I made him buy me a glass of wine as I felt I deserved it.

Oh, and during the exam they told me that as you get older your ovaries shrink to the size of raisins, so that's why they were having problems finding them. I found this moderately depressing.

Raisins.

The poor little things.

Yesterday was the echocardiogram. I was a little nervous about this one. We trotted off to the Heart and Vascular Institute, signed in, and got our little restaurant pager. The technician was very nice. Ernie sat in the corner and read a book and I just laid there while she moved my breasts around trying to get to my heart. It turns out my breasts were in the way a bit…took another technician, and some damn hard pressing to get what they needed. I have a sore spot from it, and my bra almost killed me today but I had to wear a bra as I had to go to ANOTHER DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. HOW DID THIS ALL HAPPEN TO ME? WTF?

I'm supposed to get results next week. So I guess I sit in limbo a while longer with my two big breasts and my raisin size ovaries.

Life is so undignified.

 

IMG_8958 

2 thoughts on “Raisins

  1. That seems really sexist. Or just mean. There’s lots of things that are raisin-sized. They could compare them to blueberries!

Thoughts?

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