"You're not crazy." When the physical therapist said those words to me yesterday, I almost wanted to cry. I woke up yesterday a nervous wreck about the physical therapy for my dizziness. We headed over to the Spine Institute at Carle, which has some other name now I believe, but is the Spine Institute to me. The therapist was lovely. Both Ernie and I have had physical therapists for different things, and while they've always been friendly and professional, sometimes there is a distance. This therapist had a kindness to him that made me feel comfortable and as though he personally cared about figuring this out for me. We went through a long list of questions and tests, and eventually he had me lay back, with my head dropping back and to the side. I felt the extreme rush of dizziness come over me, but he had me continue to look at his face. And at the worst of it I saw him nod, and say, "there it is." After a few more movements and positions, I sat up and he said this was probably the best possible scenario as this is quite treatable. There's a certain pattern of eye movement, that my eyes had done, that show this is an inner ear problem. And then he said, "You're not crazy, there is something going on with you." I laughed and said, 'oh thank God, because I think some people don't really believe me." He just said, "ohhhh,' and shook his head in sympathy, and tears popped into my eyes. I kept it together, but honestly it was almost a bit overwhelming. Such a relief, to have someone believe me, say that I'm right that this is happening, and there's a physical reason I haven't been able to focus and focus on computer work.
I will go back for more therapy next week, and have exercises to do at home. I felt much better after I left yesterday. The dizziness wasn't gone, but I felt like there was less weight on top of my eyes, if that makes any sense at all. He told me I shouldn't lay on my left side for twenty four hours. Do you know much one wants to lay on their left side when you've been told you can't? A LOT. I slept terribly as I usually sleep on my left side but it's worth it. I woke up dizzy this morning, which was a bit disappointing, but I did my little exercises and it has helped. Not perfect, but better, and just feeling as though there is light at the end of the tunnel makes a huge difference.
I had hoped I would miraculously feel good enough to make it to Moccasin Creek Festival, but I was exhausted when it was over, and I knew I couldn't handle it. I hate to think of what I missed, but I felt a sense of peace. Ernie took me out for a celebratory drink later on, and we watched it rain, and I obsessively checked the radar for Effingham, thinking of everyone at the festival.
It was a good day.
Thanks to all that have checked on me and sent their love and wishes.
I can't stop photographing these coneflowers…they amaze me every time I walk by.