I'm on a campaign to get rid of hidden dust in our bedroom because I seem to always wake up stuffed up. I know we've got some plastic tubs stored under our bed, mostly filled with old schoolwork of the guys, and I figured they were in need of a dusting. I had Owen bring down a couple for me. The first one turned out to be all paperwork from Judi's funeral and estate stuff, as well as that of my parents. There were even sympathy cards in there…the ones I couldn't bring myself to throw away. It's been a long time now, and I'm ok, but DAMN, that was hard. I was expecting amusing drawings from little kids, and I got….death.

It's amazing how much it can still hurt. Almost ten years ago now. It's stuck with me the last few days…looking back.

Eh, but I did find some good things from the boys. A letter to Santa from Leo. He must have dictated it, as it was in my handwriting.

Dear Santa Claus,

Please bring me more cars and trucks and semi-trailers and trains. More and more toys. I have been a very good boy.

Bring Owen some toys, more trains for Owen.

Drive safe,


It's the 'drive safe' that killed me. Lord, I love him. And watching out for his brother, too, despite writing about how much he hates him on other papers.

As always, with Owen's things, it's the little stick figures that get me. I don't know how he could get so much life into them. Look at the little guy below leaping into the air to catch a ladybug.


More writings about the Big Boy from Leo

Playing in the park with Parker and Dema. Leo, of course, being the Conductor.

And in this one, I like the fact that he notes that Ernie has long hair, and the little guy being almost bowled over with amazement at all the Lego at Toys R Us.

My sweet peas.