I've been so busy that I haven't been writing as much. Even when I'm not busy physically, I've been busy mentally. I slowed down the other day though, when I attended a really beautiful funeral. Is beautiful a funny word for a funeral? It was, though. One of our dearest friends, Bob, lost his mother recently. She was 95 and surrounded by her family, so in many ways, as good as it gets. Nothing is that simple though, and it was still a loss. If I've learned nothing else about death, it's that even when it's expected, perhaps even overdue, it still hurts like hell. It's messy and it's hard.
In one of his last moments as a pastor, Bob performed the service, and his brother and sister in law both spoke. It was truly moving. A couple of moments that caught the edges of my heart were when Bob's brother Rip talked about how he always ended up eating when he was on a phone call with his mother…the result of all the times he came home late when he was living at home and his mother would feed him pie or cookies as they chatted. That simple, human response to her voice and their memories together just touched me. Bob also spoke beautifully about his mother. He communicated her strength so clearly. He said she had once commented to him that when her children were with her she felt complete.
Recently I've been bugging the boys to do an overnight trip with us. They rolled their eyes a bit but agreed…if we can fit it into their busy schedules of course. I tried to explain to them how much I love being in a hotel room and knowing that we were all safely together. It means so much to me if I happen to get up in the night and can look at the faces of all three men I love so much all sleeping. Bob's mother put the words in my mouth. I feel complete. Yes, there are all the other work, worries, joys, and passions in my life, but at that moment I feel complete.
Much love to all the extended Rasmus family. They feel very much like family of our own.