I know that a small part of my devastation at David Olney's death is tied in with my fear of the future and Ernie's cancer. I've been worried aboout his PSA numbers increasing for much of last year and on the day after Christmas when I saw his new test results, my stress shot through the roof. We thought we were wrapping our heads around it and then came the emergency room and the hospital, the radiation, the chemo. 

Then David's death. I was working so hard to stay upright, for the boys, for Ernie, for myself. The loss of David was the proverbial straw and I broke.

In the midst of the grief, these days of puffy, stinging eyes and sadness though, we have received great kindness and love. I feel encircled by the love of everyone else grieving David, and that is a comfort. And I am reminded yet again, that grief is a gift because it represents how deeply you loved. And if I can do nothing else well in my life, I know how to love hard.

On top of that have been the friends that have been lifting the straws back off that camel, letting me be closer to upright. 

Here is Ernie wrapped in his new heated blanket that Kathleen dropped off surreptitiously (along with wine and popcorn). He loves it so much he chortled when he first wrapped himself up in it. And he is eating potato salad that Mary made for him with much love. He is eating little these days so I was particularly delighted to see this.

Friends have written, brought groceries and meals. And with each one, a straw is lifted.

Our love and thanks to you all.

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2 thoughts on “Straw. Camel. Straws.

  1. Hey Cynthia, thinking of you and Ernie. I can only imagine what you’re going through and I hoping that the spring brings healing and happiness for the whole family!

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