Ernie was in the emergency room last night. Leo took him over around 10 pm and picked him up around 3 am.

We’re worn down. He’s worn down….well, he’s truly worn down. Worn out. This is too much.

Another new catheter. Arlo looks a little less bloody today. We shall see. Cystoscopy tomorrow. That won’t solve anything though, but will let them see exactly what is going on. I’m trying to research late stage radiation cystitis treatments.

I hate not being with him in the emergency room. It’s hard to advocate for yourself when you’re in pain and exhausted. Last night he kept forgetting to ask for some water…the time before that he needed a pillow. Nobody’s there to ask for those simple things for him, much less ask other questions about treatment.

I want to try to think of something positive to say but not sure I have it in me today. My boss at Midwest is forcing me to take a day off (I love you, Pam) and I am gratefully accepting.

A quiet day. We’ll watch a few episodes of our newest cooking competition show, the Great British Menu. It’s rather calming….it reminds me of watching the old videos of Thomas the Tank Engine. I always found those rather soothing too.


Onward in a very quiet, tentative way.

9 thoughts on “Untenable

  1. Sending peace and love and stamina your way from Barto, PA. Keep your “receiver” on and tilted in this direction now and then.

    ~with love
    Jack & Ramona