Well, I’m still here and unfortunately, he’s still there.
In the hospital.
We are praying that he is able to come home today. It’s been a rough couple of days.
He’s having a hard time eating. I tried to order a bunch of different things for him at lunch yesterday. He had maybe two bites of a sandwich and a couple of bites of jello. He said the sandwich tasted horrible but it tasted fine to me. I think it’s the chemo that is making everything taste bad to him. I’m trying to do a bit of research on what to do to help. I bought a kindle book from the American Cancer Society and am trying to be thoughtful about my next Instacart order. That’s part of my new plan of attack. We use valet parking when we can (last time Ernie dropped me off and went to park but was worn out walking back to the Cancer Center) and we order groceries. I did an order the other day and it was an iffy experience. The delivery person couldn’t find my house. Eventually showed up but later I found the chicken I needed to make gruel for Ernie was missing. I texted her back but she ignored me. I got it refunded. A bunch of things were out, I guess I need to list alternatives. I’ll get the hang of it.
When I left the hospital yesterday I was shocked at how warm it had become. It was as though it was one season when I got there in the morning, with my jacket pockets stuffed with things for Ernie: more Nutrigrain bars, another pair of reading glasses and a block for the phone charger, and another season when I left, pockets empty.
This week Ernie and I completely became watering pots. We both cry at the drop of a hat. It’s been a difficult week on a number of different levels, one of the hardest is that we feel as though we have turned a corner.
I have so many thoughts and words I want to put down but my mind is too scattered to be able to articulate them.
I’m tired. I’m trying to figure out a way to pace myself. I basically only worked a day and a half last week. I need to work Monday morning but Monday afternoon Ernie’s SUPPOSED to get chemo. We will see about that, but regardless, he needs to go in (assuming he’s finally HOME) to get his blood drawn and meet with Vasireddy.
I miss my beautiful boy so much. I just talked to him and, crossed fingers, he will come home today. One doctor has said ok, now have to hear from a few others. Think good thoughts, people!
The photo at the top is Bob coming to the sad realization that I am the only human in the bed.