I think both Ernie and I feel a bit hungover from the stress of yesterday, well the constant stress, I suppose but the stress was definitely dialed up a bit yesterday.

Left another message for Health Alliance.

The HVAC guy came out but it’s going to take a few days. Our beloved Brian came over and put a window a/c unit in our media room which was wonderful. Then our friends Annie and Adam offered up a couple they had. They live right across the park so Leo picked them up and popped them into our bedroom windows (the a/c units, not Adam and Annie) and we were cool all night. The a/c is working but we’re not supposed to leave it on too long or it will freeze up again. So an on/off kind of thing. They are supposed to come tomorrow afternoon to fix it. It’s a refrigerant issue. God knows I don’t want to think what the bill will be. Yet again, our beautiful friends come to the rescue. We are indeed blessed. And I think it was the first time our bedrooms have been properly cool all summer (or whatever it is we’re in).

By the time all that was done and dusted (and no, we never heard back from Health Alliance) we collapsed. I made rice and asparagus and smoked salmon bowls. It was ok. It was supposed to be pasta. I had ordered some gluten free pasta on InstaCart. We popped it in the pantry. When I pulled it out to cook, water bubbling away, I saw that it was supposed to be kept frozen. If I’d bought it myself I’d realize it needed to be frozen but I had no idea. I pulled it out and thought that surely those little white spots were just a dusting of flour. Then I saw a big spot that was unarguably mold. Damn it. So, some leftover rice it was with a low-fodmap vinaigrette. So-so but serviceable.

I feel as though we are wasting an incredible amount of food these days. We’re a little bit more on track now but with Ernie being so sick we either didn’t get around to cooking things (I tried to throw things in the freezer when I remembered) or just lost track of things, or I’d cook things but he couldn’t eat them. I hate it when I waste food, particularly with things being so expensive anyway and InstaCart more expensive as well. I’m trying to be more thoughtful about what I order. Today I ordered some cut up watermelon, something I would normally never do. I always get a whole melon and cut it up myself. It’s much cheaper but sometimes it’s also much easier to let it go bad. So I welcomed the expensive little tub of watermelon to our home and Ernie is now eating a bowl of it.

I went to bed early last night. I just could not settle my mind enough to watch tv or read. I went upstairs and laid down and enjoyed the coolness. It took me a long time to quiet my brain.

The image at the top is from a text between Leo and me.

One thought on “Another day in limbo and much rambling

  1. Something I’ve heard of that seems relevant here is the concept of the “ADHD tax”, but it can apply to almost any mental or physical health condition. The idea is that because of ADHD or what have you, a person always pays an extra tax on things like food or household goods due to waste, because they buy the less expensive but more labor intensive item in the store and don’t have the energy to prep and use it, so they go to *finally* use the head of broccoli they know they bought and it’s turned to sludge in the crisper, so now they have to buy a second head for their recipe that day or go without.

    The idea goes further to say, if you pay the ADHD tax upfront for a more expensive but easier to use item, say, an expensive little tub of precut watermelon, or a bag of pre chopped broccoli florets instead of the head, you ultimately save yourself money and guilt by actually eating all the watermelon/cooking with the broccoli while it’s still good instead of letting it get gross and go uneaten. I hope this mentality can help you feel better about paying these “taxes” upfront on things you and Ernie deserve to enjoy. Hang in there friend.