The primary election, the January 6 hearings, Ukraine…it all blurs and I feel as though I have ribbons of horrific news winding through my head but somehow there is a distance there that I might not have at another time. I think there’s only so much angst and trauma you can absorb at one time.

Soooo…the new plan is that Ernie will start taking Jevtana (cabazitaxel), by injection I believe. He just had a phone call yesterday saying it was approved so hopefully we’ll get going with that pretty soon. Of course that will make him feel wretched again. I dearly hope he is ok for Black-Volk Fest. I think he might lose his hair again, damn it.

I also spoke to a social worker from Carle who is going to try to get him the Keytruda (pembrolizumab) as compassionate use from the company. We have paperwork to sign for financial assistance since insurance won’t cover it and the stuff ain’t cheap. She will submit and then it takes about three weeks. Sigh.

On a brighter note, yes, balancing our tires did the trick so we have the car back and it cost a whopping $50! And our A/C is back working. Did I tell you that? If I’m reading correctly between the lines of what was said, the first guy misdiagnosed it and it likely could have been fixed that first day. However, our friends with window units saved us during that hot week and there’s only so much you can get upset about.

Other bright notes. Hmmmm. Ok, I know, it always comes back to food but we had the BEST damn dinner the other night. Ernie bought an outrageously priced piece of salmon from Old Time Deli the other day. Didn’t notice the price til he got to the register but damn it was a gorgeous piece of fish. We just did our standard skin side down in a bit of olive oil until the skin is getting crispy and then cover it for a few minutes depending on the thickness. I like it pretty rare in the middle. We had it with broccoli raab from Farmer Greg and leftover lemon rice we’d gotten as an extra when we ordered Indian food the other night. The rice, with its lemony sharpness, peanuts and spices was absolutely freaking perfect with that salmon. I had the leftovers for lunch yesterday and it had me tapping my fork on the plate in pleasure.

We also devoured the raspberries we got from Greg. I adore fresh raspberries so much that we don’t do anything with them, just put them into the little Ikea kids’ bowls that somehow are still in our cupboard all these years later and nibble them. One of my favorite things. As Ernie said, the only thing that could make them better is if they were warm from the sun.

This week has been hard. So much stress last week that I’m still feeling the aftershocks a bit. I’ve been discombobulated and not sleeping well. Ernie took a single flower from a fading bouquet and put it in a little Bleeding Heart EAPG mug and left it on the windowsill near where I sit. I didn’t notice it for two days.


Oh, wait, wait, wait. Last night Ernie and I were chatting about it all and I mentioned to him that he might lose his hair. He looked at me impassively for a moment and then said that he wouldn’t lose his hair. I looked at him quizzically and he said, “All these hairs? They’re armed and anything that tries to get them will be taken down.” God, I love him.