I feel as though I just got up but it’s 2:35. I have no idea where the day went. I am pretty tired today as Ernie could NOT sleep last night and was up and down and twisting and turning like crazy. I think we’re both a tad tired today. Well, him more than me, of course. He’s feeling the teensiest bit better and even ate a little breakfast. We had a long phone appointment with our Health Alliance coordinator and she gave me a few tips on getting food into him. The problem right now is that NOTHING sounds good to him, but we’ll get there. I’m going to try to get some unflavored protein powder for him to use in milkshakes as he can’t handle either the Ensure or the Boost at this point.

We had our phone call with Pachynski. Surgery is off the table because Ernie would have to go too long without chemo and both the bladder cancer and the prostate cancer are spreading too quickly. We knew this already from the scans so that was not a shock but still not great to hear. Basically the Cisplatin did nothing for Ernie other than send him to the hospital and make him sick as a dog. The bladder cancer actually grew somewhat and the prostate cancer has new lesions along his spine, in his liver, etc.

The current plan is to try two new things…Keytruda for the bladder cancer and Zytiga for the prostate. They are also going to send the liver biopsy off for sequencing to see exactly what’s what. He also is going to present the case to his tumor board to see if there are other options/suggestions. Hopefully Health Alliance will approve it all as it’s two different systemic treatments, but then again, he has two kinds of cancer.

There you have it. Not great news but Ernie’s happy he doesn’t have to have his bladder removed. Silver linings.

Once again, I must thank everyone who has supported us in so many ways. The donations take such a weight off my shoulders. I can’t begin to imagine trying to get work done through this. It’s hard to accept needing help but as my friend Renee said, “Don’t be shy or proud. Useless shit.” Actually, if you imagine David Olney saying, “Useless shit,” it’s even better.

I thank you all. With all my heart.


Top photo just because I’m missing my little boys and our trompings around Allerton.