Ernie has told me that when he started to go see Screams around town, he used to see this one guy that looked so cool. He had kind of a pop hair cut, wore polka dots, shirts buttoned up, sometimes a jacket, but always, always cool. Turns out it was Jeff Evans.

I met Jeff somewhere around 1981 when he and Nick and Berni and Steve started their band. If I recall, it went from Mod-Lang to Child Support to B-Lovers to Turning Curious. I always thought of them as B-Lovers. There were many off shoots over the years as well, right up to the JANS Project in recent years. Then there were his 30+ years in Captain Rat….and his more recent studio work with Jimmy Wald, Kenny Draznik and Todd Fletcher.

Jeff did everything right. He got sober, he came out, went to school and became an addictions counselor. He helped so many people, a few I know, and many I don’t. He followed his passions and he kept busy but he could not keep depression at bay. He was talented and smart and kind and crazy funny. He taught Owen to drive a stick shift. I loved him. We both fucking loved him. We LOVED him. He was a wonderful son to his parents and my heart breaks for his mother.

CynthiaFest in 2012. Now three of those beloved friends, Mark Barnett, Nick and Jeff, are gone.

The last time I saw him was at our Jon Byrd/Paul Niehaus house concert a few weeks ago. He made a point of telling me to call him anytime we needed a ride or anything like that. I think I gave him a hug but now I’m not even sure. He brought a cool vintage cowboy shirt to give to Ernie.

I’m pretty sure he knew we loved him.

the Record Service boys gathered for Morgan Usadel’s memorial

I found out he was gone Saturday morning and I was just numb for much of the weekend. I think it’s starting to really hit me today.

He loved diving and I love this picture of him because he looks so happy.

Today we got the results of Ernie’s MRI and they were mmmm….fuzzy. Not necessarily good, not necessarily bad. We’re being referred to the radiation department to see if they can do anything. I’m not thrilled about that…we don’t need any more radiation cystitis.

At one point this weekend Ernie looked at me and said, “I’m trying SO hard to live.” He didn’t say anything else but I understood. He’s trying so hard to live, but Jeff just couldn’t do the same. Depression is such an ugly, sneaky, brutal character.

I will love you forever, Jeff Evans. Forever.

Pictures: I normally try to be careful about photos and photo credits….not so much today, sorry.

6 thoughts on “Our friend, Jeff Evans

  1. He knew he was loved – he just couldn’t find that love from himself. I loved him so much – he was my best friend.

  2. Cynthia, it didn’t really start hitting me until today, either. He was open about his struggle. We talked a great deal about everything over the last year, hugged, and talked some more. It broke my heart to see how much he hurt. Todd Durnil – he mentioned you often, and was very grateful for your friendship. Thank you for being such a good friend to him. We all have a hole in our hearts now.

  3. You guys have had waaay too much loss in your lives lately. So sorry. Hope uou can still see the joy.

  4. I’m sorry Cynthia (& Ernie too) for the loss of your friend. I saw your post from the day before this post, and I felt something was amiss. Sorry to hear of Jeff’s passing-that’s sad.
    I happened to see Owen earlier today (at a stop sign in Urbana of all places) & told him too, that I was sorry for the loss of his friend.
    I knew who he was of course, as I’d see him at house concerts, though I didn’t really know him.
    What a sad loss for all his family & friends. RIP Jeff.